• Rogue Aviraunt

Happy Anniversary: You Aren't a Failure

A little over a year ago I’d just shut down my logistics company. It was a calculated risk I took because I wanted to gain financial freedom; I wanted to establish a relatively passive means allowing me to be my creative self. The endeavor didn’t work, but I knew the experience was invaluable. I uncovered a certain grit in a hands-on, applied learning experience that surpassed the theoretical learning gained from my degrees. 

Still, I was thoroughly disappointed in myself. I had a vision of where I wanted to be walking into my 30s and I felt like I was showing up to the door empty handed. I was determined to accomplish something on my list that would uplift my self-efficacy and make me feel proud of my accomplishments at this age, so I decided to skip the passive/massive stream of income and invest into my creative self. 

I spent the next couple of months diving into what became Incorporeal Philosophy. I figured out the name of the blog, the purpose, and the target population. I developed a corresponding clothing line and started reaching out to manufacturers overseas. When that didn’t pan out, a friend connected me with a local print shop and we all spent countless hours sewing custom shirts to launch my “Gratitude Looks Good on You” campaign. 

I think the most important part of this experience for me was the love I had from my friends who were breathing life into my vision. Reflecting, that time period was my favorite version of myself and I felt like I was living my purpose. The launch party was amazing and it showed me how creative visions manifest. I’d done it. I was walking into my 30s feeling proud. 

The funny thing about, well, everything is that it never goes exactly the way you plan it. Furthermore, what you have in mind as the primary objective may not be the universe’s... God’s intended focus. A blog takes A LOT of work and managing a clothing line does too. Being a full-time writer and part-time teacher did not leave much room for being a doubly full-time creative/entrepreneur. I started feeling strapped for time. 

Gathering creative content, writing and putting out blogs, and creating the posts seemed like an imposition alongside work, which was daunting; I started feeling worn out even though I was still moving full speed ahead. When I realized that a year ago from yesterday I launched the blog, I started analyzing and critiquing myself over the last year and felt those same feelings of having not achieved what I set out to do. Hell, my first thought was “dam, I didn’t even plan out a 1-year anniversary post... I’m a day late and a dollar short.” I sat with that for a bit before I corrected myself. 

I got started on a thing that was only an idea, it was a possibility in my mind and it would have never become a legitimate thing unless I took a step and made it happen. The process has been messy. It hasn’t gone the way I planned, but if 2020 has taught us nothing else, it is that shit can hit the fan and you move forward anyway. Furthermore, it’ll all find a way to be okay. 

I also reflected on what else came from the decision to start the blog because each decision influences your entire future. That decision led to the most solid relationship of my life, me buying a house, a new car, welcoming a beautiful baby girl into this world, and pivoting professionally once again. And as of recently, I have rekindled my fervor for Incorporeal Philosophy and extended it in a new direction. 

The decision to start this blog and apparel line is what I have to thank for every aspect of my present self. Things don’t always go as planned and, personally, I’m thankful for it. This reflection is a reminder to trust the process. As I turn the next corner of this roller coaster ride, I’m excited to see what the future has in store. So! Happy Anniversary Incorporeal Philosophy! 

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